Today has been a good day, and today has been a day in which I have stayed present, and a day in which I have exercised. I KNOW this connection, but so often do I fail to live it out and put it into practice!
I got a whole lot done at work, and have a couple of questions for tomorrow and I will officially be back on top of my to do list again! MIRACLE. Dreading those phone calls was so much harder than simply making them. Another thing I know to be true and another thing I frequently fail to put into practice.
I also went for a run (woop! Week 4 day 3 down) and walked home again. Might try and do the same but in reverse, and crank through yoga tomorrow as well, just because I’m on a roll and I may as well stick to it!
And lord knows I need to streeeetttchhhh it out!!
Looking forward to booking a whole bunch of accommodation for our trip (amen $5 deposits to lock stuff in) and having a plan of action down.
Winning at life-ing today!
My brain is simply in overdrive at the moment, from so many things, whirring round and round and simply going nowhere. I keep beating myself up about it, and then I take a deep breathe, and try to remember what a month it’s been, and to try and be kind to myself. To breathe in, and breathe out, and be a little bit kinder and more patient than I was being a breath before. It’s a hard thing to do, but my brain slows down for a while, and the space that I need it there, momentarily. I think that’s the beauty of early morning runs, when your brain hasn’t begun firing yet, and the steady breathe and pounding of feet create their own meditation, their own rhythm, and the birds are chirping and the sun is rising and there’s nothing in your head but to be thankful for the day that is beginning in front of you. Those are the moments I need more of right now.
I’m so overwhelmed by this trip. It’s just so much money and I just finished getting out of debt and it’s infuriating to know I’m just going right back into it.
I just don’t know what is up with my heart and Dave right now. I’m trying not to let the stress of this holiday smack our relationship around too much, but I can feel the resentment and anger kicking in every time I think about how much it’s all going to cost and it’s silly.
I haven’t been present lately, in my relationship, at work, in my friendships. I’ve been very good at just taking and taking and taking and showing up when I feel like it, but I haven’t been active and giving and I’ve really just been incredibly fucking selfish, and it’s a hard thing for me to acknowledge, but it’s true.
I need to start showing up. I need to start putting in some effort, at work, at home, and in life in general. It’s time to up the ante and decide what I want, and go after it, unrelentingly. It’s time to start being better, on all fronts.
I’m looking forward to it.
— Winifred Gallagher (via onlinecounsellingcollege)